Forbidden Love

I tried to push my three kids out of the car. “The hotel is here”, I shouted. “Going on a vacation with kids is not a vacation.”, I reminded myself.
As I got down, my husband got hold of all our kids and dragged them into the hotel. One by her tee, one by his hand and one by the waist, as he was all ready to break into a run.
I got out of the car and the hotel manager was standing outside to greet us. As I held my hand out to greet him, my hand froze the moment they met his. A rush of ice and fire ran through my body. It was like being jerked into an era I had erased from my mind, well I tried my best to. Just by that touch I knew who he was and as much as I wanted to I did not want to look up.
“Hi Natasha!”, he said taking my hand in his.
His voice bore into my ears and dug up memories that just flashed by me like a bee sting. I closed my eyes and thought “oh God, years ago I had thought and hoped for us to have a chance encounter but like this, why?”
I took my hand back and realized I suddenly lost my balance to stand straight. “Umm”, I said trying not to look at him.
“Cute kids you have there.” He said looking at my husband struggling with them in the reception.
“How ironic.” I thought.
“Natasha is there something wrong.” He asked.
My head sprung up at him. Looking into his eyes bought back all the pain I had thought had gone away but apparently it was just buried somewhere inside. It hit me so hard I could feel my chest ripping apart.
“No”, I said, trying to sound as normal as possible and started to walk away.
“It’s been so many years Natasha, I never thought I would see you this way and…”, he paused.
“I never got to tell you how truly sorry I am for what I did to you. She wasn’t worth our rel..”
“It’s okay.”, I half screamed trying to stop him into taking me on a ride back into those times.
“I am, I really am.” He still continued, “and you have no idea how much I regret it even today.” He concluded.
Just what I did not want to hear, I thought please say something stupid for me to hate you again. I looked towards the reception at my family, “that is your reality now Natasha. A loving husband, three great kids, not this guy, not his betrayal, not the pain which had hit me from nowhere after so long.”
Still my heart longed to look at him, to tell him how much he hurt me, to tell him how much I had loved him, how after so many years his presence still made me weak in the knees, as much as I hated it, he did. My heart longed to hold his hands again and feel his warmth as much as I knew how horribly wrong it was. I had a husband who loved me beyond words and this man betrayed me and left…but my heart, my silly heart who knows no logic, no right or wrong, still longed for that one last kiss.

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