Lost Love

“Why is the key not getting in”, he fumed.

“You are not doing properly”, I said.

“Oh really you want to try?”, he said stepping aside.
I stepped in and casually turned the key *click*, “there”, I said opening the door and walking in.
He just looked at me and walked in.
“Mom, I am hungry”, my 4 year old son wailed.
“Yes Arnav. Give me a second, I will fix something for you”. I said keeping my bag by the table.
“Rajeev..could you hold him for a second?”, I said looking at him.
“Ya Arnav come here, we will get you changed”. He said taking him in.
I walked into the kitchen to make something my 4 year old would happily have. When I was finally done feeding him. I took him in to sleep .
“Rajeev we are going”, I said.
He did not respond as he was now busy with laptop, his phone kept buzzing by his side to which he kept smiling to.
After I had called him for the third time did he look up, “good night Arnav”, he said and was back to his laptop.
As I was taking Arnav to the room, my eyes stopped upon a picture of us on the wall, it was just after we were married. Our hands were wrapped around each other, there was a twinkle in our eyes which was so hard to miss. Anyone who saw that photo said we looked so much in love. My heart sank the longer I looked at that photo.
I peeped into the hall and saw him still stuck to his laptop.
What happened to us. We were so much in love. We were? “No, I am sure we are”, I thought to myself as I walked my son into his room and lay him down.
There was a time we couldn’t sit without snuggling up to each other, those whispers, those giggles, his touch, the warmth, it all seemed like distant memory.
“You know Amaya, how thrilled I am at the fact that we are getting married”, he had said holding me tight.
“To be with you all my life, to come home to you, wake up next to you. Our life will be so great from here on”, he had said.
I too, then had thought life would be so lovely to have him by my side for my whole life. Yet today we did not share more than 2 lines with each other. Forget hugging, I did not remember the last time we held hands or even looked into each other’s eyes. The most we spoke about was Arnav, or the groceries we had to pick up on the weekend or the bills we had to pay.
Somehow the love was lost. Though he was right in the other room, he was miles apart from me. Though we stayed together, he was not living me. The distance creeped in so eerily between us we did not even realize, I am not sure if he even realizes it yet.
It was like a facade we were putting up of being happily. In the process of living with a job, household responsibilities and bringing up a child, we had lost each other in the journey and I quite did not know how to make my way back. How to get Rajeev and Amaya smiling at each other like in the picture again.
“We will make our life beautiful together”, he had said. Guess life had taken over us, we definitely did have a life, unfortunately I was not in his nor he was in mine anymore.

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